Exciting Things

George and I have some exciting things coming up in the future and we are pumped.  We are anxiously awaiting the end of the semester as it has been long and hard so far.  Only six and a half weeks left, we can make it! George is thinking about changing his major at school and I'm so excited for him to find what it is that he truly loves so that he can love his job.

• George's birthday is next month.  I need something good to do, any ideas?  

• In May we are flying to Florida and we are so excited.  It will be our first really big trip (other than to California).  We plan on going to Harry Potter land and spending my brother's birthday with him.

• We are also looking forward to running a half marathon on July 9.  I've started working towards races like this twice before and I'm going to do one this time, I'm determined. 

Through it all, comes the question of what to do about having a family.  Weight loss is coming, slowly, but coming.  Do we try again, do we not?  Can we handle the heart ache that comes from losing something that we have so dearly hoped for?  Do we become foster parents?  Do we start the paperwork for adoption?  So many questions and not really any answers.  There are a lot of decisions to make and a lot to look forward to.

How thankful I am that through it all I have a loving Heavenly Father who keeps me going.  Even when I pull away, He's there, just waiting for me to remember that He can help me.  My heart aches often.  I yearn to hold the babies I lost.  I ache to be a mother.  Sometimes, there are tears and frustration, maybe even a little temper tantrum.  I've cried more than once alone in my bedroom asking Heavenly Father what He wants from me and what I need to do and why we haven't been able to keep a child.  Through all the tears and frustration, I know He is there and I know He has things for George and I to do.  He has helped us find ways to be happy and to find joy in our daily journey. 

I remember every day that my Heavenly Father gave me one of the best things He could have ever given me, George.  He is my angel.  I needed him and I am forever grateful for that man.  Things will work out because I have him with me.

Whatever the next year brings for our family, we will continue to find joy in the journey.  We will continue to make goals and plan exciting activities.  I can't wait for the summer, there's a lot coming.