I am not writing this post for sympathy or for anyone to tell me I'm amazing or anything else like that. I don't want to hear those things, I just want to express how I'm feeling for just a minute.
This time of the year hurts, I wish it didn't. I try so hard to put on a happy face and to be excited for Christmas. I fill my time up as much as possible so I don't have to think about things. Of my five pregnancies, three of them have been lost just before the holidays started. George and I keep hoping that this year will be the year that we will finally have a little one in our home for Christmas. That in a couple years they will be helping us put up the Christmas tree and we will be teaching them the meaning of Christmas and what it is to serve others. It tears me apart every year when we put the presents under the tree and there aren't any there for one of our babies. I don't want people to feel bad for me. I don't want people to tell me I'm amazing. All I want is to make my husband a daddy and for me to be a mommy.
That being said, I really am thankful for this time of the year too. It's such a two sided situation. I love the kindness, the love, the peace, the hope, and the charity I see in others. There are so many people out there that I want to be like. I'm thankful for the reminder this year that my Savior lives and that He loves me. I'm getting back to my scripture study and my prayers (at least once a day). I'm feeling more alive. Maybe this Christmas season was just what I needed.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Monday, October 1, 2012
Words of Wisdom
Someone very smart told me something this weekend that I had never thought about. Sometimes we spend our lives wondering why things happen to us. These words from a birth mother opened my eyes to why some of us struggle with infertility. She said that if everyone was able to have children and no one ever had to deal with infertility, who would take care of the children whose parents don't have the means or ability to take care of them. She was so right. As I talked to George about this statement later that evening, I realized that it takes people of great character and strength to enter the world of adoption and I think the trials brought on by infertility prepare these couples to step into that world. They are wonderful people who have been given a huge trial but who I think also receive a huge blessing. I never thought of infertility as a blessing before or as a privilege.
I'm thankful to this sister for opening my eyes and my heart a little bit more this weekend. George and I still don't know where this path will take us but I realize that maybe we're blessed to experience the trial that we do.
I'm thankful to this sister for opening my eyes and my heart a little bit more this weekend. George and I still don't know where this path will take us but I realize that maybe we're blessed to experience the trial that we do.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Faith and Hope
Faith and hope are interesting values. We are told that faith is a hope in things not seen. I have faith, lots of it. For a long time I thought I had none but now I know I have a lot but I let it wane so often. I forget that I have it.
We experienced our fifth pregnancy loss this week. Through this experience though I've been taught that I have to have faith. I have to have hope that the things I can't see are happening and that the person I can't see is taking care of me Why these miscarriages? I just don't know. However, what I can tell you is that my Heavenly Father has been with me through it all. I know He is aware of me. I know He loves me. I know He hurts with me and I know in time the promises He has made me will happen.
Someone remind me that I know all this when I sink again ok.
We experienced our fifth pregnancy loss this week. Through this experience though I've been taught that I have to have faith. I have to have hope that the things I can't see are happening and that the person I can't see is taking care of me Why these miscarriages? I just don't know. However, what I can tell you is that my Heavenly Father has been with me through it all. I know He is aware of me. I know He loves me. I know He hurts with me and I know in time the promises He has made me will happen.
Someone remind me that I know all this when I sink again ok.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Memorial Day Weekend
So I know this post is like totally three months ago but I've been a slacker. George and I decided at the spur of the moment that we were going to escape for Memorial Day weekend. We felt we needed a break after the semester he had just had and from all the girl's camp preparations. We booked a hotel and we were on our way Friday night. We stopped in Reno at about 2 a.m. and stayed in some weird cheap motel. We got up fairly early the next morning and drove the rest of the way to San Francisco.
Instead of going straight to our hotel, we decided to stop in San Francisco and we saw everything. We did a boat tour around alcatraz and under the golden gate bridge. We went to Ghiradelli square (I think I missed something there cause I just didn't get that one). We went to Fisherman's warf. We had a great time but we were pooped by the time we got to our hotel.
On Sunday, we decided to just relax. We ate at Johnny Garlic's (a Guy Fieri restaurant). We went to Armstrong Forest, so beautiful and so amazing and then we watched the sun set on the beach. One of the most gorgeous sunsets and beaches I've ever been to. It was so nice and relaxing. We decided one of our next trips, we just want to rent a convertible and drive the coast.
We toyed with the idea of not driving home on Monday but we didn't feel good about staying any longer so we said so long and took an extremely long drive home. We had so much fun though and we definitely will not regret one minute of that trip.
Here's a few pics:
Instead of going straight to our hotel, we decided to stop in San Francisco and we saw everything. We did a boat tour around alcatraz and under the golden gate bridge. We went to Ghiradelli square (I think I missed something there cause I just didn't get that one). We went to Fisherman's warf. We had a great time but we were pooped by the time we got to our hotel.
On Sunday, we decided to just relax. We ate at Johnny Garlic's (a Guy Fieri restaurant). We went to Armstrong Forest, so beautiful and so amazing and then we watched the sun set on the beach. One of the most gorgeous sunsets and beaches I've ever been to. It was so nice and relaxing. We decided one of our next trips, we just want to rent a convertible and drive the coast.
We toyed with the idea of not driving home on Monday but we didn't feel good about staying any longer so we said so long and took an extremely long drive home. We had so much fun though and we definitely will not regret one minute of that trip.
Here's a few pics:
Thursday, July 26, 2012
July 26, 2012
I used to be so good at posting on a pretty regular basis and I've gotten totally off track. Things got busy at work, that's a great thing. Summer hit and all thoughts of anything else disappeared.
I have pictures somewhere that I'll post at some point but for now a small recap will have to do.
Girl's camp was at the beginning of June. I feel like I spent all of May and most of June getting ready for and cleaning up from camp. It was fun. The girls were wonderful and I feel like it was such a huge blessing to have been at camp with them.
George started a math class shortly after that and it seemed to take up every minute of every day. Unfortunately, he started to get behind and had to drop the class.
We've spent the month of July trying to relax a little and get things ready for the fall. Really it seems to have flown by. There are only two weeks left of EFY and then the summer will be pretty much over.
We've spent time with family, seen Kevin's play, and spent time at 7 peaks and doing other fun things. All in all, it's been busy but fun.
I have pictures somewhere that I'll post at some point but for now a small recap will have to do.
Girl's camp was at the beginning of June. I feel like I spent all of May and most of June getting ready for and cleaning up from camp. It was fun. The girls were wonderful and I feel like it was such a huge blessing to have been at camp with them.
George started a math class shortly after that and it seemed to take up every minute of every day. Unfortunately, he started to get behind and had to drop the class.
We've spent the month of July trying to relax a little and get things ready for the fall. Really it seems to have flown by. There are only two weeks left of EFY and then the summer will be pretty much over.
We've spent time with family, seen Kevin's play, and spent time at 7 peaks and doing other fun things. All in all, it's been busy but fun.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Don't Ignore...(Infertility Awareness Week)
This year's Infertility Awareness Week topic is don't ignore...I'm choosing Don't Ignore the Pain.
In our world and society it is so easy to see the pain that someone is going through but choose to ignore it because you don't know how to help. I do it, it's been done to me, I'm sure we've all done it at some point in time.
At times I choose to ignore my own pain. I know my husband chooses to ignore his at times as well.
I find it interesting that Infertility Awareness Week is so close to Mother's Day. Is it because we all need that extra support to help us through the day that is so painful for many of us?
I'm thankful for the opportunity I have to experience this pain. I hurt. My husband hurts. My friends have had their experiences with hurting and aching as well. My family hurts for us. But because I have the chance to feel this, maybe someday I can not ignore the pain that someone else is going through. Maybe, just maybe I can bring a ray of sunshine into someone's life who is struggling with their first Mother's Day after a miscarriage or someone who has tried for so many years and can't find the peace that is waiting for them.
Let's be honest, I still haven't found that peace. I still wait to feel the peace in my life about having babies. I know Heavenly Father is still waiting for me to come to Him and His son and let them heal my pain.
Maybe that is why I still feel the pain...? Maybe because I choose to ignore it, I leave them out and they can't heal it.
Isn't that what life is all about? Finding a way through the pain. Not ignoring it, not trying to forget it but walking through it one step at a time.
I feel pain. I try my hardest to hide it. I try not to let people know that I hurt or that Mother's Day sucks for me but I'd be dishonest if I said life was all roses and rainbows. I still cry. I'm still not back to where I should be spiritually and at times, yes, I still blame God. I know that shouldn't be how it is, but that is how it is for me right now.
Don't ignore the pain if you know someone going through something similar. Give them a hug. Call them and tell them you are thinking of them. Don't tell them to keep trying, don't give them advice, just give your love and support. Don't hide from that pain.
If you are going through it, feel it. Don't hide it. Believe me, it doesn't help. Trust your Father in Heaven and let Him give you peace.
Now to take my own advice.
Want to know more about National Infertility Week?:
In our world and society it is so easy to see the pain that someone is going through but choose to ignore it because you don't know how to help. I do it, it's been done to me, I'm sure we've all done it at some point in time.
At times I choose to ignore my own pain. I know my husband chooses to ignore his at times as well.
I find it interesting that Infertility Awareness Week is so close to Mother's Day. Is it because we all need that extra support to help us through the day that is so painful for many of us?
I'm thankful for the opportunity I have to experience this pain. I hurt. My husband hurts. My friends have had their experiences with hurting and aching as well. My family hurts for us. But because I have the chance to feel this, maybe someday I can not ignore the pain that someone else is going through. Maybe, just maybe I can bring a ray of sunshine into someone's life who is struggling with their first Mother's Day after a miscarriage or someone who has tried for so many years and can't find the peace that is waiting for them.
Let's be honest, I still haven't found that peace. I still wait to feel the peace in my life about having babies. I know Heavenly Father is still waiting for me to come to Him and His son and let them heal my pain.
Maybe that is why I still feel the pain...? Maybe because I choose to ignore it, I leave them out and they can't heal it.
Isn't that what life is all about? Finding a way through the pain. Not ignoring it, not trying to forget it but walking through it one step at a time.
I feel pain. I try my hardest to hide it. I try not to let people know that I hurt or that Mother's Day sucks for me but I'd be dishonest if I said life was all roses and rainbows. I still cry. I'm still not back to where I should be spiritually and at times, yes, I still blame God. I know that shouldn't be how it is, but that is how it is for me right now.
Don't ignore the pain if you know someone going through something similar. Give them a hug. Call them and tell them you are thinking of them. Don't tell them to keep trying, don't give them advice, just give your love and support. Don't hide from that pain.
If you are going through it, feel it. Don't hide it. Believe me, it doesn't help. Trust your Father in Heaven and let Him give you peace.
Now to take my own advice.
Want to know more about National Infertility Week?:
- http://www.resolve.org/infertility101 (Basic understanding of the disease of infertility.)
- http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html (About NIAW)
Friday, April 6, 2012
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday to the most wonderful man that ever married me. Boy does this man have me wrapped around his finger. I love him so much. He works so hard. Between school, the bishopric, family, friends, and me, he is constantly running. He will even be adding work back in at least for the summer. I'm so thankful every day for all the little things that he does for me and for him being the man he is. I think he sometimes wonders what it is he does that makes me so grateful so in his honor I am making a list of 33 things I am thankful for about him.
1. He loves me ('nough said)
2. He loves the Lord
3. He honors his priesthood
4. He serves the Lord and members of our ward diligently
5. He will drop whatever he is doing to help someone
6. He studies hard
7. He would do whatever he needed to in order to provide for us if I wanted to stay home
8. He is smart. I'm often in awe by how much smarter than me he is.
9. He has the best hugs ever.
10. He rubs my back and hair whenever I demand it (which is often).
11. He cares so much and worries about me, especially when I'm down or sick.
12. He is amazing with children
13. He wants to be a daddy so badly and I know he will be an amazing one.
14. He handles my criticism well
15. He is very spiritually in tune
16. He reminds me that I can do anything
17. He helps me want to be a better person
18. He loves to read (I love that he gets hooked on books)
19. He often reminds me that we need to pray or read our scriptures (doesn't let us miss it)
20. He is supportive of my goals
21. He is constantly trying to improve himself
22. He watches my shows with me even when he doesn't enjoy them.
23. He looks great in a tool belt
24. He knows how to build things and does it well.
25. He keeps going even when he is exhausted
26. He exercises with me
27. He takes out the garbage regularly
28. He knows how to have fun and when to be serious
29. He is a born leader (even if he doesn't recognize it)
30. He always knows how to make me feel better
31. He strives to be the best he can be
32. He never yells
33. He is the best friend I have ever had and he is my angel.
I love you sweetheart with all my heart and thank the Heavens every day for the gift I was given when Heavenly Father sent me your way. Happy Birthday!
1. He loves me ('nough said)
2. He loves the Lord
3. He honors his priesthood
4. He serves the Lord and members of our ward diligently
5. He will drop whatever he is doing to help someone
6. He studies hard
7. He would do whatever he needed to in order to provide for us if I wanted to stay home
8. He is smart. I'm often in awe by how much smarter than me he is.
9. He has the best hugs ever.
10. He rubs my back and hair whenever I demand it (which is often).
11. He cares so much and worries about me, especially when I'm down or sick.
12. He is amazing with children
13. He wants to be a daddy so badly and I know he will be an amazing one.
14. He handles my criticism well
15. He is very spiritually in tune
16. He reminds me that I can do anything
17. He helps me want to be a better person
18. He loves to read (I love that he gets hooked on books)
19. He often reminds me that we need to pray or read our scriptures (doesn't let us miss it)
20. He is supportive of my goals
21. He is constantly trying to improve himself
22. He watches my shows with me even when he doesn't enjoy them.
23. He looks great in a tool belt
24. He knows how to build things and does it well.
25. He keeps going even when he is exhausted
26. He exercises with me
27. He takes out the garbage regularly
28. He knows how to have fun and when to be serious
29. He is a born leader (even if he doesn't recognize it)
30. He always knows how to make me feel better
31. He strives to be the best he can be
32. He never yells
33. He is the best friend I have ever had and he is my angel.
I love you sweetheart with all my heart and thank the Heavens every day for the gift I was given when Heavenly Father sent me your way. Happy Birthday!
Monday, March 19, 2012
Finding Answers
George and I are on a path to find some answers. Answers about why we miscarry that is.
Before I start this post, please don't say you are sorry. Don't worry about what to say. We are dealing and have dealt with this situation and you don't need to say sorry. I know a lot of people hear people talk about things they are dealing with and don't know what to say or feel like they need to feel bad for that person. We don't feel bad for us anymore. (Honestly, we all feel self pity sometimes right?) But we are in a good place. This Just Is. It's our struggle, it's what we get to deal with.
Anyway, we are now on to the sixth doctor since we found out I had PCOS and started to try to get pregnant. We are so excited to be working with Dr. Gurtcheff at the Utah Fertility Clinic and feel blessed that we have been guided to her. Every doctor has passed us on to one with even more knowledge and the ability to help. Our first visit with Dr. Gurtcheff was wonderful. She informed me that as many miscarriages as we have had is not normal, no matter what you weigh. Can you imagine the relief. Here I am, beating myself up because I haven't been able to lose weight and feeling like the whole miscarriage thing was all my fault. Talk about a weight off my shoulders (no pun intended).
We talked about what we had been through already and she told us what the plan was from here on out. Last week George and I had some blood drawn. Mine is testing some hormones and my genes. George's is testing his genes. The genetic test should show if there is anything in our chromosomes that is preventing me from carrying a pregnancy. The hormone test, I actually don't know what they are looking for. Something good I'm sure.
Today I had a water ultrasound. I didn't think it was going to hurt but boy was I wrong. They use a catheter and put water in your uterus, yes it is as bad as it sounds. That hurt. I'm still hurting from it. Good news though. My uterus is normal and my eggs look good (they wanted to make sure they weren't old eggs). Yay so that is good news.
Unless the blood tests come back with abnormalities then the next step is to put me on clomid and hcg until I ovulate and then pump me full of progesterone with the hopes that it will help me hold on to the pregnancy. Good thing, it could result in us keeping a pregnancy. Bad thing, it could result in multiple babies (or is that a good thing? :) and we also could deal with another miscarriage. However, this doctor seems determined to help us find answers and if she can't, she'll let us know. We are having faith in Heavenly Father and in His timing. We won't do the drugs until after girl's camp as I can't be pregnant and go to camp. We know that if we keep pressing forward with faith that all will work out as it should and if the miscarriages keep happening after all this, well then maybe our baby is supposed to come to us by other means. Heavenly Father has been leading us along the way so far and He will continue to do so.
Before I start this post, please don't say you are sorry. Don't worry about what to say. We are dealing and have dealt with this situation and you don't need to say sorry. I know a lot of people hear people talk about things they are dealing with and don't know what to say or feel like they need to feel bad for that person. We don't feel bad for us anymore. (Honestly, we all feel self pity sometimes right?) But we are in a good place. This Just Is. It's our struggle, it's what we get to deal with.
Anyway, we are now on to the sixth doctor since we found out I had PCOS and started to try to get pregnant. We are so excited to be working with Dr. Gurtcheff at the Utah Fertility Clinic and feel blessed that we have been guided to her. Every doctor has passed us on to one with even more knowledge and the ability to help. Our first visit with Dr. Gurtcheff was wonderful. She informed me that as many miscarriages as we have had is not normal, no matter what you weigh. Can you imagine the relief. Here I am, beating myself up because I haven't been able to lose weight and feeling like the whole miscarriage thing was all my fault. Talk about a weight off my shoulders (no pun intended).
We talked about what we had been through already and she told us what the plan was from here on out. Last week George and I had some blood drawn. Mine is testing some hormones and my genes. George's is testing his genes. The genetic test should show if there is anything in our chromosomes that is preventing me from carrying a pregnancy. The hormone test, I actually don't know what they are looking for. Something good I'm sure.
Today I had a water ultrasound. I didn't think it was going to hurt but boy was I wrong. They use a catheter and put water in your uterus, yes it is as bad as it sounds. That hurt. I'm still hurting from it. Good news though. My uterus is normal and my eggs look good (they wanted to make sure they weren't old eggs). Yay so that is good news.
Unless the blood tests come back with abnormalities then the next step is to put me on clomid and hcg until I ovulate and then pump me full of progesterone with the hopes that it will help me hold on to the pregnancy. Good thing, it could result in us keeping a pregnancy. Bad thing, it could result in multiple babies (or is that a good thing? :) and we also could deal with another miscarriage. However, this doctor seems determined to help us find answers and if she can't, she'll let us know. We are having faith in Heavenly Father and in His timing. We won't do the drugs until after girl's camp as I can't be pregnant and go to camp. We know that if we keep pressing forward with faith that all will work out as it should and if the miscarriages keep happening after all this, well then maybe our baby is supposed to come to us by other means. Heavenly Father has been leading us along the way so far and He will continue to do so.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Anniversary
We tried to make this year's anniversary as relaxing as possible. With the craziness of school, moving, jobs changing, etc. we definitely needed something to get us to relax.
We decided to splurge a little and go to a spa on Saturday. We sat in a sauna for an hour and then got a couple's massage. It was way relaxing and quite enjoyable. It is possibly something we may need to consider doing more often. Afterwards we grabbed some dinner and went to see The Vow. Perfect for an anniversary date.
On Sunday we left church as soon as it was over and headed to Castle Creek Inn. It's our favorite. We got the big room this time that has the pool table. We enjoyed playing some games of pool, watching our favorite Sunday movies, and once again just relaxing.
Monday we did some shopping and went to see This Means War. We should have come back home and done some stuff around the house but really who wants to do that sort of stuff on a day off work?
Lastly, on Tuesday, our actual anniversary, we attended the temple. It was great to be there again. We've gotten off track lately and missed the temple a couple of times and it was wonderful to be there and to be doing sealings on our actual anniversary. This is the first time since we were married that we've been able to do that and it just made that day that more special.
It was the perfect anniversary. We didn't need anything big or fancy we just needed some stress relief and a reminder of what it was we promised each other on that wonderful day three years before. George is the man of my dreams. What a blessing he is to me and what a help he is. He helps me become a better person every day and I love him.
We decided to splurge a little and go to a spa on Saturday. We sat in a sauna for an hour and then got a couple's massage. It was way relaxing and quite enjoyable. It is possibly something we may need to consider doing more often. Afterwards we grabbed some dinner and went to see The Vow. Perfect for an anniversary date.
On Sunday we left church as soon as it was over and headed to Castle Creek Inn. It's our favorite. We got the big room this time that has the pool table. We enjoyed playing some games of pool, watching our favorite Sunday movies, and once again just relaxing.
Monday we did some shopping and went to see This Means War. We should have come back home and done some stuff around the house but really who wants to do that sort of stuff on a day off work?
Lastly, on Tuesday, our actual anniversary, we attended the temple. It was great to be there again. We've gotten off track lately and missed the temple a couple of times and it was wonderful to be there and to be doing sealings on our actual anniversary. This is the first time since we were married that we've been able to do that and it just made that day that more special.
It was the perfect anniversary. We didn't need anything big or fancy we just needed some stress relief and a reminder of what it was we promised each other on that wonderful day three years before. George is the man of my dreams. What a blessing he is to me and what a help he is. He helps me become a better person every day and I love him.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Valentine's Day
There has been so much going on lately. We got moved into our new house. I moved into my new office. George is getting caught up at school. I received a new calling (girl's camp director). We've been working hard.
All of that makes me excited for today and then for this coming weekend. George and I get to relax a little this evening and just spend some time together. A week from today is our 3rd anniversary so we are celebrating over the long weekend. It's just going to be a great week.
Started today out making a yummy breakfast. George brought me lunch and some pretty tulips.
I feel like such a lucky girl. Tonight we are just going to relax. We decided there are some people around us who could use some love so we will deliver some valentines and then just chill at home tonight. I know that sounds boring but after the last couple of months we have had just relaxing is going to be awesome.
Happy Valentine's Day to all those I love. This day is not just about our spouses or significant others. I love that in Brasil it is the day of love. I think that is exactly what it is. Show your love to those around you.
Happy Valentine's Day to my lover and best friend. You are what keeps me going daily. I love you.
All of that makes me excited for today and then for this coming weekend. George and I get to relax a little this evening and just spend some time together. A week from today is our 3rd anniversary so we are celebrating over the long weekend. It's just going to be a great week.
Started today out making a yummy breakfast. George brought me lunch and some pretty tulips.
Happy Valentine's Day to all those I love. This day is not just about our spouses or significant others. I love that in Brasil it is the day of love. I think that is exactly what it is. Show your love to those around you.
Happy Valentine's Day to my lover and best friend. You are what keeps me going daily. I love you.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
What a Month!
Man alive, someday I am going to want to remember that I made it through this month. Right now I'm wishing everything was just over and done with. Here's what's happening in the life of the Smith's.
- George started BYU. Changed his major to construction management. Changed it again to Mechanical Engineering. Changed his schedule approximately four times and was almost a week into classes before his schedule was finalized. He is still working on catching up. BYU is giving him a run for his money.
- We applied for an appeal for financial aid since George is no longer working but as our records do not completely show that yet, we were denied and had to take unsubsidized loans that we did not want to take.
- The money we saved for adoption is now gone due to the flooding. We are working on getting it back. But still are not set on that being the right option for us yet.
- After a lengthy and tense conversation with our landlady about giving us notice before entering our home she asked us to move. We found an apartment that night and will be able to move into our new apartment on February 1st. It has caused a lot of stress amidst everything else that has been happening but we are happy about our new home and happy to be staying in our ward.
- On Friday, I found out that my job will be changing. I cannot say exactly what is happening yet but it was out of my hands. My boss and I will both have new jobs in a new department. I'm happy to be having more work to do but recently there have been major changes in the new department and there seems to be lots of drama.
- We finally got our new washer, it is so nice to be able to do laundry at home again.
- I went to the doctor yesterday. She said my metformin isn't working as it should be anymore but I can't come off it cause I'm pre-diabetic (according to her anyway, I've never had any tests state that I am). My blood pressure was also high. I have to go back in 3 times in the next couple of weeks to have it tested. Hopefully it was just the fact that I hadn't eaten, I was tired, I was having major anxiety, and after reading everything else above I believe you can tell I was stressed. This appointment motivated me to make the changes I need to make. We are exercising every day and I am closely monitoring my food intake. I'm off sugar for the next 30 days.
- One good thing came from the appointment. I have an appointment with another doctor for a surgical consult to check for endometreosis to make sure that isn't causing my miscarriages. We were also referred to a reproductive endocrinologist who may be able to help us figure out what is going on and may be able to help us keep a baby.
Monday, January 9, 2012
31
Not sure why but this birthday has me down a little. Maybe it is my home not being put together, maybe it is that I had to come to work and George has school stuff to do, maybe it is that I'm not feeling great about myself, maybe it's that I'm 31 and still haven't been able to have kids. Whatever the reason, I really need to find a way out of this funk today. This is not the way I wanted to start my 32nd year.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Fixing Our House
Well, it's getting there. I get my carpet today! Because our landlady decided she would pay the deductible to the insurance, we decided we would fix the walls downstairs so that everything looked nice and new with the new linoleum and carpet. Little did we know, we were in for a bigger project than we expected. The walls were cracking when we moved into the apartment. We thought we would just tear out the little parts where it was cracked and could fix it and paint it quickly. That was not how it happened. Turns out, something has been eating the inside of the walls. Could be a bug, could be some water, who knows. Small patches turned into large patches. We have been mudding and taping the walls back together. It's slow going but there's a chance it could all be done by my birthday! Woo hoo! Here's some pics of how the walls look after tearing off the bad stuff. Today's picture of the day was George working on mudding last night.
A Picture A Day
 |
| A friend recommended doing a picture a day so here is one for January 5. I don't know that I'll get one everyday but we'll see what happens. |
Thursday, January 5, 2012
It's My Blog, I'll Make It Pink If I Want To
Life has a way with running away from you and when you finally catch up, you want to plop down absolutely exhausted. That's how the last month has gone. The house is still torn apart, George has started school again (at BYU this time), and we are tired. The great thing is, we don't care. For the first time in a long time, I just feel content. Like things (at least at home) don't matter anymore. All that matters is spending time with loved ones, friends and family.
My birthday is this month and I don't care. I don't want anything, I don't really want to do anything but be with my husband (and have my house put back together of course). I think Heavenly Father brought me some peace amidst all the turmoil that was happening last month.
I'm excited for this year and for making some goals happen. I want to teach aerobics and be a personal trainer. Yes, I know that means working on some stuff of my own but I'm sick of telling myself I can't do it. I can and who says you can't have a chubby aerobics instructor? I'm going to make those goals happen and I'm thrilled!
This day just got even better! I get new carpet tomorrow! I'm going to be able to put my house back together by my birthday. Woo hoo!
My birthday is this month and I don't care. I don't want anything, I don't really want to do anything but be with my husband (and have my house put back together of course). I think Heavenly Father brought me some peace amidst all the turmoil that was happening last month.
I'm excited for this year and for making some goals happen. I want to teach aerobics and be a personal trainer. Yes, I know that means working on some stuff of my own but I'm sick of telling myself I can't do it. I can and who says you can't have a chubby aerobics instructor? I'm going to make those goals happen and I'm thrilled!
This day just got even better! I get new carpet tomorrow! I'm going to be able to put my house back together by my birthday. Woo hoo!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Temple Square and New Years Eve
This year we visited Temple Square with our friends Kam, Steve, and Ruthie Schiess. It was freezing cold but we had fun. George got some pretty good pictures too I think. It was great to remember the real reason for the Christmas season.
New Years was spent with the Merryweathers and the Watsons. We had tons of food, fireworks, and tired babies (Yep, they all stayed up till midnight minus the littlest)! We had a great time. I forgot to take pictures so these are pictures of the girls and babies freezing while the boys were playing with the fireworks.
We couldn't get Brendan to turn around so all we have are pictures of the back and side of his head. It was a great holiday season. I can't wait for next years.
New Years was spent with the Merryweathers and the Watsons. We had tons of food, fireworks, and tired babies (Yep, they all stayed up till midnight minus the littlest)! We had a great time. I forgot to take pictures so these are pictures of the girls and babies freezing while the boys were playing with the fireworks.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)