Update

Thank you for all the prayers and love and faith from everyone.  Just a little update.  All my test results came in and there is no explanation, I'm normal (I know you all thought differently).  We just have to play the wait and see and have faith game.  We do have the option to check and see if I have endometreosis and that may be something we do down the line but for now I think we are going to take a little time out and I'm going to kick my tooshy into losing some weight.  For so long I've been saying well larger women have babies all the time, why do I have to lose weight?  I have to stop comparing myself.  I'm not all those women, I'm me.  And maybe losing weight will help but maybe it won't.  We don't know but we won't know until I kick my butt in gear.  In the end, what have I lost, except some weight and made myself healthier.

We will do some serious praying over the next few months.  The Dr. told us that at this point our infertility papers for the adoption process would not be filled out with more than a 50% chance of conception which we believe would make us eligible for adoption.  Now is decision time.  Now is the time more than ever for us to be listening to Heavenly Father and what He wants us to do.  As hard as those decisions are going to be, I look forward to the growth that will come from listening to the Spirit.  The Lord has great things in store for us.  We just have to make sure we are ready for them.

Pregnancy Loss #4

That is not my favorite thing to post but alas, it is what it is.  We found out a couple weeks ago that we were pregnant and we were so excited this time.  It had been almost a year since our last one and we were finally ready for it.  I had some spotting the day after we found out but then it went away and we decided that this one was going to hang in there.  George fasted, I received a blessing, we prayed, our parents prayed.  We were sure this was the one that was going to hang in there.  We were wrong.

Through this whole experience there has been one thing that has kept me going in a way that I haven't had the other times.  I have a peace and comfort this time that I didn't have before.  My faith is stronger, my belief in my loving Heavenly Father is stronger, the comfort I feel is stronger.  Heavenly Father knows us, each of us.  He is very much aware of what is going on with George and I.  The eternal perspective that I have gained recently has helped comfort me and helped me be more at peace.

We were lucky to see the nurse that we saw this week.  As soon as I started bleeding, I had an appointment to have an ultrasound to make sure it wasn't ectopic.  The nurse who helped us after the ultrasound was wonderful.  She walked into the room and told me that we needed to do other tests.  There was no, "you need to lose weight" as there had been before.  She immediately assessed the situation as one that needed extra attention and she saw to it.  She got the nurse practitioner to order us extra blood tests.  We have an appointment next week to find out the results of those blood tests.  Who knows, they could hold the answers and if not maybe they will direct us to the next steps.

We know children are in our future.  How or when those children come, only Heavenly Father knows.  How thankful I am to know that He is there and is watching out for us!

Tips for Those Supporting Loved Ones Dealing With Infertility

I have had one class at Education Week that I have made sure I have made it to every day.  It has been an amazing class that I am extremely grateful for and has helped me put many things into perspective.  Many prayers have been answered through this class.  One thing I thought would be helpful would be to post the suggestions she had for those who would like to know how to help their loved ones who are struggling with infertility.  This is what Stephanie Taylor had to say:

1.  Recognize there is more to this couple than their reproductive status.
2. Listen, listen, and listen - if they want to talk.
3. Ask, "How are you doing?  I've been thinking about you lately."  (It's not invasive and gives an opening IF they want to talk.)
4.  Help them find opportunities to use their nurturing abilities.  (They may not want to be your babysitter but that doesn't mean they wouldn't love opportunities to play with your children.)
5. Appreciate your children if you have them.  Don't complain about them.
6. Share, if you have a similar experience.
7. Don't tell them what you think they should do; it adds pressure.
8.  Support their decisions.
9. If they have a pregnancy loss or treatment failure, help them validate the experience.
10.  Be sensitive during commonly tender times such as Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc. etc.

She also gave us some support websites for couples dealing with infertility so if you or anyone you know needs some support they are www.2ofus4now.org and www.ldsinfertility.org.

The best thing for me yesterday was when she read this quote, "When women offer their bodies as vehicles for new life, they are consecrating themselves to God's purpose, and God honors this offering, whether or not it results in live birth."  For Mormon Times, 14 May 2011.

I'm thankful for the times the Lord has given me to consecrate myself for his purposes.  I may not have any children yet but George and I have been willing to submit to His will and we know that our offering has been honored and that the things of this life are just that, for this life.  There is a bigger eternal picture out there.  Infertility is not forever!

Followers

I just noticed I have 14 followers.  I totally feel special now.  Thanks all for reading, even though I rarely post anything!  I'll try to get better at that.

Just a little update - George and I have now had adoption and foster care orientations.  We have our info, now to make a decision and take it to the Lord.  We'll let you know sometime what we decide.  :)  Or maybe we'll just surprise you and announce we have a kid.